What he really does...

In his last post, Dan alluded to the fact that some of you may be wondering what he spends his time doing. What followed was a little story of him taking the girls out for a hike. While that's true, and incredibly helpful, I can wholeheartedly say that he doesn't simply shuttle the kids from one fun adventure to the next. He's taken on the role of primary caregiver for our girls, and increasingly for me too! I started feeling a bit like a bystander already back home when one day I realized it was no longer comfortable for me to lift Dana. And one thing at a time, I started to become limited in what I could help with: I was no longer able to help with the renovations around the house, I couldn't bathe the kids, I could no longer take the dog for a walk, I couldn't cook meals that took more than 30 minutes on my feet. As the pregnancy progresses, these limitations continue to add up. So all these are things that Dan now handles. When the kids need discipline and need to be physically moved from one spot to another, for a time-out, for instance, Dan enforces the rules. He makes breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with very little or no help from me, and often does all the cleanup himself too. I'm glad that the warmer weather means socks are optional, because I was starting to need help with those! Although, warmer weather does mean regular leg-shaving and toenail clipping... both of which are incredibly awkward for me to do for myself!! He's doing laundry and grocery shopping, cleaning and keeping track of the kids' schedules. In short, he's doing my job (and more!) for me. And because I know how busy and tiring all of that is, I appreciate it. He's doing an incredible job, and I'm so thankful every day that he's here for me, and for our girls. That said... the role reversal hasn't necessarily always been smooth sailing. The girls, although they've done incredibly well all things considered, have had moments where it's clear all the changes are overwhelming for them. I struggle with feeling a little useless -- a tagalong who can't actively contribute much at the moment. I can go along to the grocery store, but unless we're going to be in & out within 15 minutes, I just sit in the car. I can come along to the park, as long as the parking lot isn't far from the playground, as long as there's a bench, and as long as there's a bathroom. :) I know, I know, I'm not useless, I am growing 3 (!) beautiful babies and their health and well-being depends on me not overdoing it. But it's a strange feeling nontheless. I've had to learn to bite my tongue when Dan does things differently than I would do them. I've had to eat humble pie a number of times when I've not noticed and thanked him for something he's taken care of, or when I've inadvertently undone something he's done. Like tonight, I was trying to be helpful and put some dishes in the dishwasher before we ate supper. There were a few dishes in there already, and I rearranged them and tucked all the dirty ones in close to make room for the after-supper dishes. It wasn't till after supper that Dan realized what I had done... he had been in the middle of emptying the clean dishes out of the dishwasher while making supper at the same time. So I got the clean and dirty all mixed up. It's a small thing, and yet I realized how annoyed I probably would have been if Dan had done that to me at home. So I've had lots of good reminders about the importance of being gracious. It's also been touching to see the girls bonding more closely with Dan, which I think will be even more important once the babies are born, that they are not quite so "mommy" oriented as they have been at home. They've become quite a bit more affectionate with Dan, and are starting to seek him out in many circumstances that I know they would otherwise have run straight to me.
All of these are physical, tangible things that Dan does to offer care, and I haven't yet mentioned all of the emotional support that he lends in my moments of discouragement and anxiety. So, all in all, I'm incredibly thankful for my wonderful, loving, caring, giving husband. Without his love, support, and help, I would be a mess, multiple times, every day.