Nursing

During one evening feeding while the boys were still in the hospital, I was nursing one of the babies when a nurse approached.  She'd complimented me before on my relaxed attitude while breastfeeding.  So I didn't expect what she said next.

  "I hope you don't have any delusions about breastfeeding triplets."  Surprised, I stuttered "um, no.  I mean, I'd like to do what I can, but I'm okay with supplementing if needed."

 

5 months later, I'm still breastfeeding my triplets. 

Until very recently, they've gotten little formula supplemetation. 

It's been a journey with its share of ups and downs.

It started with two weeks of pumping every 3 hours and storing the milk while the boys were in the hospital.  After heading home to Smithers, I overcame a painful infection, and persevered through the challenges of preemie babies learning to latch well.  The babies were not the only ones who endured those feedings in tears.  There were so many moments when I questioned whether continuing was worthwhile.  If I hadn't had such a good experience breastfeeding my girls, I would've thrown in the towel in those early days. 

But, we made it through. 

We settled into breastfeeding, and it became just as easy as I had remembered it being with my girls.  It's such a joy to nurse babies.  There is something so satisfying about providing nourishment and comfort to my babies this way.  I enjoy the enforced down time.

 

The boys are now 5 months old, and up until a couple weeks ago, they were getting about a feeding and a half of formula per day.  For the rest, they just nursed.  Increasingly over the last several weeks, they seemed to need to eat more frequently.  When they became regularly hungry every 2 1/2 hours or so, I knew it was time to make some changes.  Extra fatigue contributes to a depleting milk supply.  Also, my efforts to exercise a bit more and start watching what I'm eating a little more closely (my post-triplets wardrobe is extremely limited, but the whole getting back into shape process needs its own post) took a noticeable toll on my body's ability to produce milk as well.  So we've increased the supplementation so that at each feeding, one baby gets a full bottle, and the other two breastfeed, then rotate at the next feeding. 

However, I'm already noticing that, one week later, my milk supply continues to dwindle.  The babies who nurse seem hungry quicker than the baby who gets the bottle. 

It's been surprisingly difficult and emotional to think about scaling back on nursing.  In my last two nursing experiences, once I scaled back, it was quickly over.  These are very likely our last babies.  It's so strange to think of this stage of our lives being over.  For so long, I dreamed so often of having babies and wondered what shape our family would take.  Shifting into "looking back" mode where our babies are concerned is a little bit sad.  On the other hand, I've made it this far.  I've given them a really good start. 

I find there's so much second-guessing in so many areas of parenting, and this is no exception.  So many of the decisions I make are not clearly right or wrong.  They are simply decisions to be made and I do my best to make a good one.  Hindsight may prove that another decision would have been better, or at least just as good.  But it's a complex process, and deciding hasn't been easy.  

So I'll continue to do what I can, but I have a feeling that the end of our nursing days is in sight.  And I'm okay with that.